Libraries, Archives, Technology, Impending Doom
Though you might not suspect it, libraries are an excellent place to catch Pokémon! Indeed, libraries are filled with many kinds of wondrous, rare Pokémon that can be found there and only there! If you are genuinely committed to “catching ‘em all” (and you are, aren’t you?) then you’ll want to make sure that you catch all of the Pokémon on this list! Good luck! Be careful!
Of all of the types of Pokémon you can encounter in a library, the Librarianizard is probably the one you will come across the most often. Indeed, it is the species of Pokémon that is most commonly associated with the library. These strange, yet majestic, creatures can be found in just about all types of libraries – including public libraries, academic libraries, rare book collections, society libraries, and so forth. And though they may not be the rarest type of Pokémon, you do not want to venture forth without making sure that you’ve captured one (or two)! The Librarianizard is an inveterate gatherer of information – and what’s more they are compelled to share this information with others (instead of greedily hording it for themselves like certain other kinds of Pokémon that shall go unmentioned). What’s more the Librarianizard possesses a hard won skill in analyzing all of that information in order to determine whether it is trustworthy or not – and thus the Librarianizard is invaluable in helping you to sift through the information overload that is a result of your having captured (or having been captured by) the Internetatronider. Though generally trusting and helpful in spirit the Librarianizard can be quickly angered, and thus committed Pokémon trainers must take care as the Librarianizard is one of the types found in the library (see: “works here”) that has the power to eject people from the premises. Luckily, a Librarianizard usually gives warnings that they are becoming peeved and about to unleash this devastating attack, such warnings usually take the form of a use of their renowned shushing ability.
Type: research, psychic, works here
Abilities: all-knowing, shushing, research, javelin, reference interview, knows what book you mean when you say “I’m looking for a book, I think it had a blue cover”
Weaknesses: fire, water, budget cuts, bugs, people saying “aren’t libraries obsolete?”, seeing library materials being defaced
Evolves Into: Sphinx or Library Ghost
If one dares to venture into the areas of the library marked “staff only” (which one should not do unaccompanied) one may encounter the secretive and elusive Arc-hive-ist. These Pokémon are renowned for their keen analytical skills, their pointed powers of organization, and the sharpness of their many stingers. It is the mysterious Arc-hive-ist that is responsible for actually arranging archival material and then constructing the rune filled finding aids that allow visiting researchers (see: Professaurus, Genieologist, and Graduate Student) to find the things (non-Pokémon) for which they are hunting. Numerous individuals who have attempted to “catch ‘em all” have contributed to the rumor that the Arc-hive-ist emits a strange buzzing sound that alerts one and all to their approach, and many of these same individuals have failed in the attempt to catch an Arc-hive-ist. Indeed, one trainer even reported that they once heard an Arc-hive-ist scoff “I didn’t become an Arc-hive-ist to deal with people!” which is a ridiculous thing because everybody knows that the only thing Pokémon can say is their own names. Also, Arc-hive-ists are actually quite friendly once you get to know them. But they see it as their job to capture the information, they don’t like it when people try to catch them in turn. Or to put it another way, they put things in boxes, but don’t like it when people try to put them in boxes, or Pokéballs – or whatever.
Type: works here, ghost, ice, is actually a swarm of bees
Abilities: archival arrangement, finding aid construction, swarm of bees, organizing, honey production
Weaknesses: disorder, fire, having to work on the reference desk, bee keepers, smoke
Evolves Into: Keeper of Secrets or Queen of the Apiary
Within many a library there exists a mysterious life-force that wages a daily battle against the slow deleterious march of time (note: “march of time” is not a type of Pokémon). Mold, red rot, sticky shed syndrome, bugs, and water damage are but a few of the horrendous forces against which the Conservationistapuff wages a valiant fight on a daily basis. This seldom seen Pokémon type usually can be found in some kind of “office” or “laboratory” wherein they work surrounded by all manner of strange scientific instruments which they control with the power of their mind. Drawing upon a knowledge of library science as well as science science the Conservationistapuff has the power to cure inanimate objects of their afflictions so that these items can continue being used by researchers. Often difficult to find, and even harder to catch, the Conservationistapuff is a rare type of library Pokémon that resists being caught do to its earnest and serious commitment to seeing that its work is completed (and its work is never completed). If they are trapped in a Pokéball how are they going to be able to provide that microfilm reel with the treatment it needs? How are they going to be able to mend the spine on that 300 year old book that some Pokémon trainer knocked over when trying to capture a Librarianizard? Yeah, yeah, you’ve got to “catch ‘em all” – but ask yourself – what if they don’t want to be caught?
Type: flying, works here, fighting, concerned, psychic
Abilities: preservation, chemistry, material handling guidelines, quarantine, gets to wear a lab coat
Weaknesses: the slow passage of time, fire, seeing materials being handled incorrectly, museum openings
Evolves Into: Conservationistapompom
Is it really a type of Pokémon? It doesn’t have a funny name…but yes, it is! Though the Graduate Student’s natural habitat is the university campus (like the Professaurus), they can often be found in the library reading room. Furthermore, as they are not a “works here” type Pokémon, they are actually one of the types that is easier to find and easier to catch with a Pokéball – at the library it lets its guard down. The Graduate Student can be a highly unpredictable type of Pokémon depending on several factors including: how its research is going, the status of its funding, whether or not its department is about to be eliminated, and how much caffeine it has consumed. Thus, the Graduate Student can either be a personable and friendly type of Pokémon that will happily show you what it is researching or it may be a defensive and secretive type that wonders why the hell some jerk with a smartphone app is trying to “catch them.” Many Graduate Students are concerned about their future prospects, and some of them have been convinced by dishonest Pokémon trainers that once they are captured they will not have to repay their student loans. This is untrue. It is not a kind thing to say to Graduate Students even if it lulls them into a false sense of security. Pokémon trainers beware, if you catch a Graduate Student with a Pokéball you become responsible for paying off its student loans. Furthermore, one should approach Graduate Students with care – they may appear friendly (and they generally are) but they are dangerously intelligent and will reveal to you that Pokémon go is a ridiculous manifestation of the culture industry that reinforces hundreds of problematic societal tropes.
Type: normal, ground, rock (and roll), grass
Abilities: critical theory, research, consuming caffeine, despair, academic specialization, has actually read the books that you pretend you’ve read so you look intelligent in your online dating profile, cycling
Weaknesses: debt, ennui, academic specialization, student loans, the precaritization of the academy, asteroids, arguments on social media
Evolves Into: Debt Peon or Professaurus (adjunct type)
Located within the library’s reading room the Reference Deskurtle looks like a large desk-shaped object, this is probably why it is often thought to be an actual desk. Usually the Reference Deskurtle is guarded by one or two Librarianizards, who have been tasked with allowing this mighty beast to continue slumbering. For the Reference Deskurtle is a mighty creature! According to some ancient legends it will only awaken when a Pokémon trainer who is true of heart and pure of spirit approaches – though it has also been known to groan audibly when a pun is told in its vicinity. Little more is known about this careful chameleon of a Pokémon that has cleverly disguised itself as a thoroughly unimpressive piece of library furniture. Adding to the mystery, it is not known whether the various things one finds placed on top of the Reference Deskurtle are actually part of the creature’s shell, being used to strengthen the disguise, or if they have been placed on top of it by the Librarianizards. Please note: if you decide to check whether or not a desk is actually a Reference Deskurtle by kicking it, the creature will awaken suddenly and eat you. Really. It will eat you. So there.
Type: ground, rock, steel, normal, mysterious, interior design
Abilities: being a desk, making you look odd for trying to catch a desk, eating a human being alive in one bite
Weaknesses: fire, puns, natural disasters, Ikea furniture
Evolves Into: Reference Deskortoise
Commonly found in the reading room, this type of Pokémon has come to the library in order to draw sustenance from the rich informational resources available there. It is important to recognize that the Professaurus type may often be found in the library, but they are not actually native to that location (see: “works here”). Rather, the Professaurus comes to the library with a specific goal in mind – to them the library is similar to a watering hole – they come to it to drink deeply. But not literally to drink deeply because the library is not actually a place where one goes to drink things, rather it is a place that people go in order to think things. Where were we? Oh, yes…as a result, if you try to catch a Professaurus in the library you may find that their defenses are raised (they are imbibing information) – and though they may not be able to use their “power to fail you” ability they still have many powerful attacks and defense maneuvers. Generally, the Professaurus uses its special “intimidating aura” ability to keep people from bothering it, and those who dare get close may find themselves caught by its dangerous “withering gaze” ability. The Professaurus comes in a wide variety of types and the only way to know its particular specialty is to ask/catch it…if you dare!
Type: academic, varies, normal, fire
Abilities: research, lecturing, can fail you, esoteric wisdom, withering gaze, intimidating aura, has this book at home and in its office but needs to see it here anyways
Weaknesses: bureaucracy, flying, over-specialization, non-tenure track positions, flattery, having the word “digital” affixed to its field
Evolves Into: Professaurus Emeritus
At some point in the distant past all of the “works here” type Pokémon convened a conference at which great concern was expressed regarding three things: access to material, condition of material, the number of Pokémon trainers who were coming into the library not to do research but to try to catch Pokémon. As you can imagine, this was a very difficult conference as Pokémon can only say the name of their species which is really pretty ridiculous if you think about it. But I digress…Anyways, so an ingenious solution was hit upon: why not digitize certain library materials and put them online? And so it was that the Digitizationamatronaminator became a “works here” type Pokémon. This is another of the very special types of Pokémon found in the library, one which a trainer is unlikely to just find offering assistance in the reading room. Instead, the Digitizationamatronaminator can usually be found in a special habitat that was created just for it, filled with all manner of large machinery amongst which it cleverly hides. Though this is likely to be another of the areas marked with some kind of “staff only” sign (and as has been said before, only a foolish Pokémon trainer fails to take heed of such signs – think of them as being like signs from a higher power [that higher power is the library itself]). While knowledgeable and access oriented, the Digitizationamatronaminator can only unleash its full range of abilities when it has access to its “digitization lab” as many of its most powerful attacks required drawing upon the power of its flatbed scanners, book scanners, HD cameras, and design software. According to the observations of at least three different Pokémon trainers, Digitizationamatronaminator are the most fashionable library Pokémon. It is almost certain that most other types of “works here” Pokémon would disagree with that assessment. Note: if you can say Digitizationamatronaminator five times fast nothing particularly noteworthy will happen but you will feel a minor (and swiftly fleeting) sense of accomplishment.
Type: electric, works here, steel, robot
Abilities: digitization, totally heard of that band before you did, library technology, hurdy gurdy, OCR, photography, Esperanto
Weaknesses: power outages, technological obsolescence, water
Evolves Into: The Singularity
As any good Pokémon trainer knows, phrases like “they keep the lights on” are not simply cute adages, but accurately refer to the essential role that various types of Pokémon play in keeping various ecosystems going. Such is true of the Maintenancachu, an often unsung “works here” type Pokémon, without whom the lights would not stay on, because nobody would bother to switch out the dead light bulbs with new light bulbs. Many Pokémon trainers who visit the library (and, alas, many of the other types of “work here” Pokémon) have a habit of ignoring the heroic work of the Maintenancachu – which is grossly unfortunate seeing as these Pokémon are every bit as essential to the successful running of the library as the Librarianizard, Arc-hive-ist and so forth. When something breaks in the library it is the Maintenancachu who comes to fix it! When there is some kind of mess in the library it is the Maintenancachu who comes to clean it up! When all of the other “works here” type Pokémon have returned to their Pokéhomes for the night, it is the Maintenancachu that stays behind to make sure that everything is tidied up nicely for the following day. Yes, the Maintenancachu may not be the rarest form of Pokémon you can catch at the library, but it is certainly one of the most important types of library Pokémon.
Type: flying, works here, all of the elements plus some you’ve never heard of before
Abilities: fixing, maintenance, power tools, cleaning, has the master key
Weaknesses: that one light bulb in the reading room that has been burnt out for the last two months
Evolves Into: Maintenandragon
Usually, when a “works here” type Pokémon evolves it follows a standard trajectory whereby it becomes a slightly more awesome version of what it already was. However, sometimes, something goes horribly awry in the process and a seemingly friendly Librarianizard (though this can happen to any “works here” type Pokémon) turns into a Grumpimite! Nobody knows for certain why exactly this happens, or what the warning signs are, but once a Pokémon turns into a Grumpimite there is no way of turning it back. At first glance a Grumpimite will look just like the type of Pokémon it had previously been, though it will now be identifiable by its proclivity to slouch, glower at everyone, drink black coffee, read Russian novels, wear headphones (even while sitting at the Reference Deskurtle), and get into verbal altercations with the photocopier. Pokémon trainers should do their best to avoid accidentally catching (or purposely catching) a Grumpimite – as this particular Pokémon is so world weary and thoroughly “done with this BS” that they will refuse to be captured. And if, by some bizarre stroke of luck, you are able to actually catch a Grumpimite you will begin to wonder whether or not they have in fact caught you. For a Grumpimite is unceasing in deploying its most devastating attack: reminding you constantly of all of the horrible things that are going on in the world which you are currently ignoring because you’re too busy catching Pokémon (or doing something else other than moping). It’s probably best to just ignore the Grumpimite, and for what it’s worth that’s probably what it wants you to do.
Type: ice, ghost, misery, lurks here, poison, works here
Abilities: pessimism, cynical argument, puns, nihilism, seeing that humanity is truly doomed
Weaknesses: happiness, love, fairy, optimism, being thanked, photographs of themselves as they once were
Evolves Into: The Grumpimite haunts the library eternally. Eternally!
While some are drawn to the library by the allure of all of the rare Pokémon that can be found there, others come to the library to find out more about their family history. Of those interested in family history none are more fascinating than the talkative and inquisitive Genie-ologists. These Pokémon descend upon the library in search of any details about the places from whence their Pokéancestors came. While one can often detect a degree of tension between the Genie-ologists and various Pokémon of the “works here” variety, these particular Pokémon are known to be generally friendly towards Pokémon trainers. In most cases a Genie-ologist will approach a trainer in order to find out more about the places from whence that trainer’s ancestors came. Or, a Genie-ologist may approach a trainer because they are curious about what genealogy apps the trainer has on their smart phone. Many trainers are on the lookout for a Genie-ologist because this type of Pokémon is famous for their “three wishes” ability. But before you get too excited about having finally caught a Genie-ologist, bear in mind that you might not really get what you wanted with those wishes. But you might find out that you and the Genie-ologist could actually be fourteenth cousins twice removed on your mother’s side. How about that!
Type: psychic, fairy, bug
Abilities: family history, family history, family history, three wishes (must be used for family history related wishing), family history, having exact change
Weaknesses: microfilm, languages their ancestors spoke, closing time
Evolves Into: Professional Genie-ologist
According to an ancient legend, somewhere within every single library is a Golem. The legends are a little bit sketchy as to the purpose of these strange beings, or who created them – though most scholars (see: Professaurus) seem to agree that they were originally created to page materials from the stacks (citation needed). Yet at some point those responsible for controlling these automatons retired (see: Librarianizard) and ever since the Golems have simply ambled about of their own accord. Unfortunately, these creatures have something of an appetite and are often accused of devouring books and archival material in the stacks. Yet no Pokémon dares stop them out of fear that they too will be devoured! Indeed, if you have ever requested library materials and been informed “that item is missing” chances are good that the item in question has actually been eaten by a Golem. These creatures generally can be found in “staff only” areas of a library (where unaccompanied trainers should not tread) and though they are slow they defend themselves with a variety of mighty attacks which may culminate in an attempt by the Golem to eat the trainer! Be warned, better trainers than you have disappeared into a Golem’s belly. You should also be advised that according to some the library is itself actually one giant Golem into whose belly you venture just by going into the library. Kind of makes you think, doesn’t it? No, it really doesn’t.
Type: fighting, rock, the inspiration for Frankenstein, awesome
Abilities: destruction, starring in German silent films, defending the Jewish ghetto in 16th century Prague, juggling
Weaknesses: spelling changes, true love, Rabbi Judah Loew ben Bezalel, the Internet, people who pronounce “Golem” like “Gollum”
Evolves Into: Golems do not evolve.
Well? Did you catch ‘em all!